grateful for

21 Mar

my sisters. seriously, so lucky to have family whom i love, love, love, and love spending time with.   Our weekly phone calls during my commute brighten up my day to no end.  it also makes you wonder about where we all were before cell phones were invented.

SH. I don’t say it enough, and probably don’t show it enough.  He is one of the strongest, most selfless people I know.  I am so blessed to have him in my life.  I know I’ve been a pain to live with the past few months; holing myself up to study and work on applications.  And, when I do interact with you, I pepper our conversations with my school stuff, assuming that it is, in fact, all about me.  It’s not.  Thank you for being that person who can a) listen thoughtfully to all of my musings and b) keep me grounded and not full of myself.

doogie.  as we were sitting in the stadium on Saturday night, soaking wet, I couldn’t help but think and reflect on our friendship–that, despite all the rain that was coming down, the fact that our clothes were soaking wet, we were laughing.


pull ups

16 Mar

Two posts in one day! Must be all that awesome coffee I’ve been drinking.  Which reminds me, I should write a yelp review for that place.  I digress.

So, I recently added a 30 in 30 goal to do a pull up.  I figured, how hard can they be?  I go to the gym semi-regularly, recently upgraded my weights to 8 lbs, piece of cake!~  My ego lied to me.  I mean, yes, I’ve only been ‘training’ for this for two days, so I still have 7 months to improve.  Well, training might be overselling it; training is just attempting to do 10 of some sort of pull-up each day.  On my first day, I had to ask SH to help me figure out how I could even start.  First of all, I have to jump a little to even reach the bar.  Secondly, I have apparently, no upper body strength.  I mean, I knew I didn’t have Madonna arms, or even Michelle Obama’s, but still.. I thought I would be able to move myself a little bit.

Continue reading

just a few more..

16 Mar

Here’s the thing.  I know I’ve been incredibly lucky to have gotten into 2 of my schools already (yes, this is another post about my MBA apps–I’ll save my recipe and pictures of cheesecake brownies for another day).   But, I really, really want to get into at least one more.   My superstitious self won’t let me post specifics about this school until I’m officially in (or out), so I won’t say too much.  Other than this school was one of the main reasons I even started this MBA process.   I thought I was pretty good at being patient (my dog may beg to differ), but waiting for business school decisions of any sort have really put me to the test.   This part of the process, this obsessing and waiting, is awful for my psyche.  I’ve replayed all of my interactions with the school, with their alumni; reread all of my essays–and I feel like I could have done better.  Continue reading

next steps

10 Mar

Now that some of the thrill of the acceptances have worn off, I’ve been thinking of all the things that will need to happen in the next few months that will prevent this summer from being a crazy, un-enjoyable mess.  It’s still a little surreal to think that I’ll be leaving this place, this state, that I’ve called home for the last 6 or so years.  I have two separate lists in my mind that need to get out–one, of all the things I’d like to do here before I leave and two, of all the things that I need to do to make this move possible.  I think mostly in list form–my days are filled with creating and crossing off items–and these next few months will be no different.

Cali Bucket List
Things that need to happen to make move possible
Eat at Chez Panisse Donate clothes
Go to the Exploratorium Figure out which furniture pieces are coming with
Wine Tasting/Bocce Ball day Become more diligent about eating food in cupboards
Korean BBQ Buffet Research cross-country moving companies
Plan an awesome going away party Figure out how to sell/donate car
Cal Academy after dark Start collecting boxes (last 4 weeks)
Start inventories of all items

Whew, even just starting this list makes me feel a little better.  Continue reading

self-congratulatory (read: lots of exclamation points!)

7 Mar

This past weekend I completed one of my 30 in 30 goals–I attended my first yelp elite event.  Hooray for me!  The event was to attend a film festival (Cinequest) pre-party and to then see a film for free.   It was everything I thought it would be: loud, lots of people, free drinks and food.  I took SH as my date, and we mingled with some other yelpers and film folks.   We ended up chatting/hanging out with a few film directors during the pre-party, and.. well, wait.  SH did all this–he chatted them up and asked intelligent questions.  I, on the other hand, refrained from eating a lot of food and drank my beers way too quickly.  The few things I contributed to the conversations were words like “mall-rat” and “seriously?”  Eventually, I shut myself up and just listened to SH chat it up with complete strangers, while I just tried to appear cute and in control of my crazy thoughts.   Continue reading

totally Jersey

3 Mar

I once took the Myers-briggs personality test.  All I remember is that I got a ENTJ.  I’ve recently come to think that the “TJ” means totally Jersey.  Cause no matter how crunchy/feel-good/granola-y I get, there will always be a part of me that is truly east coast–judging others, prickly, and not okay with paying $3 for half a dozen of farm fresh eggs. 

It’s hard to reconcile these two philosophies.  Part of me is constantly making snap judgements; the other part of me gears up to be proven wrong.  I’m not a huge touchy-feely person, but I’ve taken to hugging people when I see them.  Seriously, where did that come from? I blame yoga.  Oh, and the yoga.  I’ve been trying yoga for a few years now; it was hard for me to find instructors and studios where I didn’t want to roll my eyes at the instructor the entire time.  I felt awful about mocking their earnest-ness in my head.  But now, even though I still have to control my natural facial reactions to phrases like “just dance with your spirit through the next few poses”, I’ve come to rely on yoga on keeping me grounded. 

Point?  I’m just trying to “do me.” 

(I seriously need to stop watching the Jersey Shore.)

back ups

1 Mar

To calm my over-caffeinated self, I’ve compiled a list of possible career paths, should I not get into any business schools:

1) Continue to plug away at my current job, squirreling money away, but with full-time employee benefits.  Will live stress-free, able to pursue leisure activities, and take vacations.  Or continue at current job, apply to be a part-time MBA student at local (less prestigious) university.  (the likeliest of all the options)

2) Apply and attend culinary school, and finally, finally, learn how to cut things quickly.  And,  how to filet a fish.  Will lead to eventual career in catering or appearance on Top Chef (where I will sprinkle my speech with catchphrases I’ve picked up from the Jersey Shore).

3) Find my inner zen and become a yoga instructor.  First, I’ll need to master the crow pose.  Then, I’ll start ending all of my blog posts and emails with “Namaste.”  Continue reading