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denial

20 Jun

I’m usually pretty good about planning things.  I mean, I would hope so, considering I was once paid to be a Special Events Director of a nonprofit.  I can put together calendars, to-do lists, minute-by-minute schedules like no body’s business.  (Wait, are these things worth bragging about?  Or are these things that make me seem completely neurotic? )

I say this because, in terms of my upcoming move, I have done NOTHING.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I’ve done lots of passive things–research places to live, put together a to-do list, and more research.  In terms of putting actual deadlines and dates with each of these items, of getting a sense of urgency associated with these things–I’ve got nothing. In terms of acting on any of these items, I’ve got nothing.  Just the sheer act of writing down the list, of putting it on the wall, made me feel so good that I’ve stopped stressing out about my lack of progress. To an extent.  But now the list mocks me, each morning, cause I haven’t crossed anything off of it.  It’s a pretty obnoxious list.

I can’t tell if it’s because I’m in the midst of a full-blown attack of senioritis, or, if I’m just in denial that I’m about to upheave my life.   I’m asking SH and our dog to move their life cross country with me, so that I can (presumably) spend the next two years drinking a lot, going to football games, and getting my school-on.   Bless them.

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lately

12 May

Dear Blog,

I’ve been awful, I know. I’ve neglected you for nearly a month now. A MONTH! Where did the time go? I have a bunch of excuses ready to explain my absence, but I totally understand if you don’t accept them. But, just in case you do–and, these are real, legit reasons, here!–here are a few reasons why I haven’t written:

  • In the past 6 weeks, I’ve been to Michigan, Seattle, and Washington DC.  And, sprinkled in there are weekends spent in San Francisco, weekends having friends over..  all this to say, I just haven’t been around.
  • Someone in our department left recently, so my workload got a little heavier.  After spending all day in front of a comp, sitting down to blog just isn’t super appealing (I’m sorry! I still think you’re pretty, though). 
  • I’ve been enjoying life.  Now that I know where I’m going, I feel like I can finally breathe.  All those friends I’ve put off seeing during the past 9 months are now a part of my regular rotation again; now, that I can actually make plans with folks instead of saying “Well, I don’t know.  It depends on xyz school.”  Looking at my calendar, I can see that August will be here before I know it, and I’ll be hitting the road with SH.  Totally crazy!

Ok, now that we’ve gotten some of awkwardness out-of-the-way–oh wait, I forgot to make my seemingly meaningless promise to blog more.   Here it is: I’ll blog more, I promise!  Once a week, at least.  It’ll happen.  

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confessions..

1 Apr

1) To add to my guilty pleasure of watching the Jersey Shore, I’ve recently realized that my musical taste borders on that of a teenager.  I’m pretty sure if I was actually 16 years old, I would totally be a Belieber.  Every time his songs come up on my iPod, I get in an instant good mood.

I’m quickly realizing that perhaps making friends at business school will be harder than I thought.  Note to self:  do NOT tell people that Avril’s new song is your new ‘pump up’ song when you run.  Or that you know all the words to Bieber’s “Baby” (not that there’s a lot of lyrical genius behind it).  Instead, please tell your new classmates about how you love Thao (which is true) and that you know all the words to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'”.

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next steps

10 Mar

Now that some of the thrill of the acceptances have worn off, I’ve been thinking of all the things that will need to happen in the next few months that will prevent this summer from being a crazy, un-enjoyable mess.  It’s still a little surreal to think that I’ll be leaving this place, this state, that I’ve called home for the last 6 or so years.  I have two separate lists in my mind that need to get out–one, of all the things I’d like to do here before I leave and two, of all the things that I need to do to make this move possible.  I think mostly in list form–my days are filled with creating and crossing off items–and these next few months will be no different.

Cali Bucket List
Things that need to happen to make move possible
Eat at Chez Panisse Donate clothes
Go to the Exploratorium Figure out which furniture pieces are coming with
Wine Tasting/Bocce Ball day Become more diligent about eating food in cupboards
Korean BBQ Buffet Research cross-country moving companies
Plan an awesome going away party Figure out how to sell/donate car
Cal Academy after dark Start collecting boxes (last 4 weeks)
Start inventories of all items

Whew, even just starting this list makes me feel a little better.  Continue reading

totally Jersey

3 Mar

I once took the Myers-briggs personality test.  All I remember is that I got a ENTJ.  I’ve recently come to think that the “TJ” means totally Jersey.  Cause no matter how crunchy/feel-good/granola-y I get, there will always be a part of me that is truly east coast–judging others, prickly, and not okay with paying $3 for half a dozen of farm fresh eggs. 

It’s hard to reconcile these two philosophies.  Part of me is constantly making snap judgements; the other part of me gears up to be proven wrong.  I’m not a huge touchy-feely person, but I’ve taken to hugging people when I see them.  Seriously, where did that come from? I blame yoga.  Oh, and the yoga.  I’ve been trying yoga for a few years now; it was hard for me to find instructors and studios where I didn’t want to roll my eyes at the instructor the entire time.  I felt awful about mocking their earnest-ness in my head.  But now, even though I still have to control my natural facial reactions to phrases like “just dance with your spirit through the next few poses”, I’ve come to rely on yoga on keeping me grounded. 

Point?  I’m just trying to “do me.” 

(I seriously need to stop watching the Jersey Shore.)

distractions

25 Feb

There are a number of things in my life that I’m trying really hard not to think too much about. 

1) the fact that I need to find time to get my car checked out.  the check engine light has been on for a while, and I’ve been bad, bad, bad about trying to get it fixed.  Mostly because I’m worried about the cost of any repairs that may need to take place.  But! Since it’s on my blog now, maybe this will be one of the things I do this weekend.  (Speaking of this weekend, weather reports are saying it’ll be cold enough to snow here, in the Bay Area.  I love the carefully chosen language “cold enough to snow” versus the weather reports on the east coast that issue flat-out warnings.  Anyways, here’s hoping we get a few snowflakes here! )

2) the fact that b-school results will be rolling out soon Continue reading

catching up & appreciations

24 Feb

I am so behind right now..

I’m not 100% sure how this happened (well, actually, I am), but I am super behind with my workload.  It shouldn’t be a huge surprise to me, since I have spent a decent amount of time the last week visiting the MBA forums and trying not to freak out.  And, to calm myself down, I then start to peruse food blogs, where I plan elaborate dinners to get my mind off of things.    So, there are few projects at work that I’m lagging in.  But, I’m a pretty efficient little worker bee, and my brian knows this too, so there’s definitely a part of me that’s allowing myself to be a slacker, and do things like blog. –

I’m also way behind on my fitness.  I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without working out; at least, within the last 5 years.  My body is definitely feeling the effects.  This weekend, to the gym I will go.  Seriously.  I’m there.  Totally.  Continue reading