catching my breath – a list

3 Nov

a) It’s totally surreal to think a year ago I was stressing out about applying to business school. Surreal. There are some days I struggle to remember what life was like before I was a student.

b)I’ve made it to our second quarter! I survived my first round of classes and finals. Like I suspected, the quant classes totally kicked my booty.

c) A few notes for myself:
– have more confidence in your work. your classmates are amazing, but you have great experience/knowledge, too!
– it’s okay not to do everything.
– don’t be afraid to fail.

I’m scared to look at my 30 in 30 list. I feel like it’s only going to stress me out.

denial

20 Jun

I’m usually pretty good about planning things.  I mean, I would hope so, considering I was once paid to be a Special Events Director of a nonprofit.  I can put together calendars, to-do lists, minute-by-minute schedules like no body’s business.  (Wait, are these things worth bragging about?  Or are these things that make me seem completely neurotic? )

I say this because, in terms of my upcoming move, I have done NOTHING.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I’ve done lots of passive things–research places to live, put together a to-do list, and more research.  In terms of putting actual deadlines and dates with each of these items, of getting a sense of urgency associated with these things–I’ve got nothing. In terms of acting on any of these items, I’ve got nothing.  Just the sheer act of writing down the list, of putting it on the wall, made me feel so good that I’ve stopped stressing out about my lack of progress. To an extent.  But now the list mocks me, each morning, cause I haven’t crossed anything off of it.  It’s a pretty obnoxious list.

I can’t tell if it’s because I’m in the midst of a full-blown attack of senioritis, or, if I’m just in denial that I’m about to upheave my life.   I’m asking SH and our dog to move their life cross country with me, so that I can (presumably) spend the next two years drinking a lot, going to football games, and getting my school-on.   Bless them.

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june, already?

1 Jun

Sorry, blog! I lied about posting once a week.  It’s totally June now, and I only posted once in May.   But, to be fair, I have been keeping track of items on both my 30 in 30 list and Cali list, so I think those interactions totally count. 

I’ve been attempting to take pictures of the food I’ve been making recently, but am quickly realizing that I am NOT a good food photographer.   My most recent food-related accomplishment is successfully making cake pops.  You know, little bites of joy that contain all the sugary, dessert goodness one needs, in one fell swoop. 

I’m not going to lie.  These were not easy to make.  I got the recipe and technique from Steamy Kitchen. I’m an avid follower of Jaden’s–her website and her food always look SO GOOD–and when she posted this a few months ago, I immediately added it to my “must try” list.  Continue reading

lately

12 May

Dear Blog,

I’ve been awful, I know. I’ve neglected you for nearly a month now. A MONTH! Where did the time go? I have a bunch of excuses ready to explain my absence, but I totally understand if you don’t accept them. But, just in case you do–and, these are real, legit reasons, here!–here are a few reasons why I haven’t written:

  • In the past 6 weeks, I’ve been to Michigan, Seattle, and Washington DC.  And, sprinkled in there are weekends spent in San Francisco, weekends having friends over..  all this to say, I just haven’t been around.
  • Someone in our department left recently, so my workload got a little heavier.  After spending all day in front of a comp, sitting down to blog just isn’t super appealing (I’m sorry! I still think you’re pretty, though). 
  • I’ve been enjoying life.  Now that I know where I’m going, I feel like I can finally breathe.  All those friends I’ve put off seeing during the past 9 months are now a part of my regular rotation again; now, that I can actually make plans with folks instead of saying “Well, I don’t know.  It depends on xyz school.”  Looking at my calendar, I can see that August will be here before I know it, and I’ll be hitting the road with SH.  Totally crazy!

Ok, now that we’ve gotten some of awkwardness out-of-the-way–oh wait, I forgot to make my seemingly meaningless promise to blog more.   Here it is: I’ll blog more, I promise!  Once a week, at least.  It’ll happen.  

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coffee and wine

15 Apr

All I want to do is start my day with a gooood cup of coffee (a la Philz) and end it with a glass of Cab. That’s it.

Thank to all the drinking and unhealthy habits I’ve picked up during this whole admissions process (yes, I am choosing to blame the admissions process for this, and not my own lack of motivation), I’ve decided to do a two week detox.   My vanity, ego, and liver needs this detox.    So, after doing some ‘research’ online (research = google search), I found a detox/cleanse diet that I could actually see myself following for two weeks.  I mean, it’s called “A Food Lover’s Cleanse”.  Seriously. Continue reading

figuring it all out

12 Apr

So, for the most part, I feel like a MBA is the right path for me.   I’ve spent months defining why I need an MBA, why now is the right time, and why each of the programs I’ve applied is the only place that will help me in my future.    I know this.   I know this answer.

But, since I’ve gotten accepted into these programs, I’ve started to question a little the choice to go to business school.  The amount of debt that I would accrue seems insurmountable.  And the fact that I’m on the older end of the spectrum makes it seem like it may not be the best life choice.   I did some mental math yesterday (it turns out the math that I’m best at is seeing how old I am), and I’ll graduate with my MBA when I’m 31–assuming I can finish my dual degree in 2 years.  Then, the assumption would be that I would take a nice job somewhere and work for two years, putting me at 33, before I could realistically start a family.  Which is fine.  A lot of women are starting families later in life, and for the most part I feel okay about this.  I mean, there’s a part of me that’s always thought I’d have kids by the time I was 30, but clearly, it’s not going to happen (it’s not even on my 30 in 30 list).   And, when I look at my peers’ lives, on facebook or in person, a lot of us are in the same age-range and no closer to leading what I’ve always assumed to be “adult” lives.

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confessions..

1 Apr

1) To add to my guilty pleasure of watching the Jersey Shore, I’ve recently realized that my musical taste borders on that of a teenager.  I’m pretty sure if I was actually 16 years old, I would totally be a Belieber.  Every time his songs come up on my iPod, I get in an instant good mood.

I’m quickly realizing that perhaps making friends at business school will be harder than I thought.  Note to self:  do NOT tell people that Avril’s new song is your new ‘pump up’ song when you run.  Or that you know all the words to Bieber’s “Baby” (not that there’s a lot of lyrical genius behind it).  Instead, please tell your new classmates about how you love Thao (which is true) and that you know all the words to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'”.

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